Tuesday, May 18, 2010
I don't think all the crystals in all of the world could heal Speidi, Spencer and Heidi Pratt that is. This season on The Hills, (yes I watch the girls who coined the phrase "I feel like..," and have become famous due to their talent of sipping Starbucks and tanning, oh and driving BMW's, not going to lie - envy their lifestyle)...anyways this season it is official Mr. & Mrs. Pratt have checked into Crazytown.
Spencer wears more crystals than found in all the caves in North America combined, not to mention more obnoxious rings than all the Sopranos family members. Heidi has confessed that Barbie was essentially her model for her 10 plastic surgeries, which, as her step-father so clearly stated, left her looking frozen. Tonight the pair took their new found obsession of new age healing to a whole new level - let me just say they are one step away from being the Jehovah Witnesses who go door to door attempting to spread the story of Jesus. The only difference is Speidi decided to start preaching the miracles of new medicine at a club in Hollywood when meeting up with some of their "pals." (They are clearly great advocates for this lifestyle because their lives are the epitome of perfection and serenity.) They arrived not only drenched in mafia rings but LARGE crystals (note the plural) adorning them like ornaments on a Christmas tree - each carrying a different "power" with it. My favorite that Heidi mentioned was the one that protects you while you're in a war torn area, because clearly you need that in a club in Hollywood.
(Note in this picture the multiple rings, crystal in hand-obviously warding off all bad things/negative energy & spirits, necklaces, tye-dye shirt, hemp bracelets and serial killer-esqe eyes. Photo from: The Hollywood Gossip)
I think it is safe to say the events of Speidi no longer classify as "reality" TV, because they are so far away from reality. And I truly feel sorry for anyone who has witnessed them drift first hand the way we have seem them do on The Hills to fulfill our entertainment needs.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Since his comeback to the world of golf Tiger has been playing sub par (to do a little play on words) to his normal athletic abilities. He has dropped out of the The Player Championship because of his neck problems that could be a complication of his car accident in November. He has not had a history of neck problems, knee issues he has had, but he has not been shooting the ball as far and has finally figured out the problem....his neck issue is just now taking a precedence in his life since November.
He says that he has been playing through it and cannot do so any longer, yes I am still talking about his golf game not his personal life. But now that I mention it, I know that everyone says that what Mr. Woods does in his personal life does not affect him as a golfer and I absolutely agree. But now that his neck has been acting up, it may be time to examine all possibilities here. I mean logically, the car accident was in November, he has had multiple mistresses of many ages, he is 34 - I think it only proper to question the sexual practices of these rondevues with the mistresses. What exactly were they doing and at any point did Tiger say that a particular maneuver hurt his neck, something like "it just doesn't bend that way anymore" - (in relation to his neck). I'm just saying, it is possible he was doing some activities that compromised the mobility/health of his neck. And we all know Karma sure can be a bitch.
(Photo above from:http://www.obit-mag.com/media/image/tiger-woods-knee-injury-golf-pain-vl-vertical.jpg)
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Well. Honestly, I am a little awkward, ok pretty awkward. I have recently moved to the east coast, and have been putting social mel in hibernation a bit while I look for work. Today was the first time I had the opportunity to go out socially with a group of girls for the first time. It was with a cousin and her friends about my age, I thought super, its Cinco de Mayo, why not. So I go. At first I fear I am giving the impression of a stuck up bitch from CA due to my lack of input into the conversation, in my defense I was voted softest speaker in 6th grade.
There was a moment of silence. At this juncture I take it upon myself to bring up a conversation topic, so naturally I bring up how it is unfair to compare Chicago deep dish style pizza to NY style pizza. I launch into to a rather detailed account of each of the pies and then into how they are two completely different forms of meal in and of themselves. Being a food connoisseur I was excited about the topic and did not realize I was dominating the conversation the entire time, while others at the table exchanged nervous glances with one another, with the expression of who the f is she in their eyes. I then decide it was best to quickly wrap up the conversation, but to do so I has to finish my points or else I would've have had no courage or gusto in my "profound" argument, and hence the theory would not have been spread to their friends.
Immediately after I took a large gulp of water wishing it was something stronger, I noticed how awkward it was to start a conversation about a pizza comparison with people who are practically strangers. Thus, I will not hold my breath waiting for "the girls" to call me this weekend - they must be thinking if I was like that sober I must be a horrible drunk.