Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Santa Con, A Completely Ridiculous NYC Bucket Lister.

Santa hats for days in Central Park
A nationwide event where you dress as the jolly father of Christmas and crawl from bar to bar in your respective city - starting at 10A going until that ol' bowl full of jelly cannot fit another spiked egg nog.  There are designated meeting spots throughout each city where the Santas (and Harry Hanukkahs) converge for an annual convention.  They then look to their leader for guidance as to what watering hole will be first on Santa's list (also the drop spot for the canned food drive - giving one the right to say they were technically part taking in a fundraiser convention on Saturday....nice).  And then "Santa's on the Move...."

Thousands of Santa's take the the streets, and if there was ever a time to "hide yo kids" (as Antoine Dodson would put it) it would be Santa Con Saturday.  I'm sure Santa believers were incredibly confounded with questions when they saw a sea of red suits.  Elves could be understandable, being we all know they make the toys and there are multiple - as we are taught through classic movies, sweatshops and word of mouth on the playground, but there is only one man that plays the role of Saint Nicholas.

Not only is the pure amount of Santas confusing but as they day wears on there were beards on the ground, (confirming any suspicions that Santa's beard was fake last year), girls who slutted the Santa suit putting themselves on the Naughty list and inevitably by the end of the night what looked like some beard on beard action.  Bringing me to my next point of this event being the most random/awkward place to participate in a stray-dog hook up - could you imagine hooking up with someone and he later had to put on his red suit and hat to do the walk of shame - or even worse you had to do it?

Confusing as it may be, as ridiculous as it may be, it may even strip children of the magical belief of is definitely a NYC bucket lister.

Santa Rides the 6

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